Why Certain "Looks" or "Sounds" Can Trigger Regression and Rage--Lesson 33

CERTAIN LOOKS
Everyone has seen the “look of love”, but looks can exude less than happy vibes. The way someone looks at you can trigger a regression. The amygdala remembers only rough, raw details to keep us safe. A woman who looks at a man can be misinterpreted and misconstrued and illicit the phrase, “Why are you looking at me like that?” She might respond, “Like what?” And if he were not regressed he might say, “Like the look the father gave me when he wanted to punish me, or “A football coach in Jr. High”, or “my mother.” This part of the brain doesn’t remember the details as to whether the perceived threat, real or imagined, came from a man or woman.

CERTAIN SOUNDS
Randy almost disappears into thin air every time he hears a fire truck’s siren. “I can’t help it. That sound scares me to death. When I was seven our house burned to the ground and we barely got out alive. Now no matter where I am, if I hear the siren I go right back to that moment even though the fire was over fifty years ago.”
One afternoon in a couples session with Julie and Rachel, they shared with each other things that made each angry and frustrated. Suddenly Julie said to Rachel, “Why are taking that tone of voice with me?” Ultimately, we discovered it was a similar tone her ex-husband would take many times during their marriage.

Question: Have you ever been triggered just by the way someone was looking at you?

In Lesson 34 We will explore "Body Language" and how it communicates volumes.

For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.