When I asked Charlotte why she didn’t leave her verbally abusive husband, she said, “Because I don’t have that choice.” When I asked Arnold why he doesn’t quit the job that offered no chance for advancement or increase in pay, he too replied, “I didn’t have a choice.”
When an adult feels like they have no choice they get angry or enraged and are usually in a regressed state. It often takes someone else (who is not regressed) to offer them choices, point out options because the regressed person can’t hear them, see them or act on them.
When working with a person who really feels and thinks that they don’t have a choice I first have to help them see their regression, deal with the triggers that are sending them back in time, explore the emotional memory and hopefully facilitate a discharge and release the pent up, stored energy whether it is rag or sadness.
Question: Can you remember times where at the time you felt like you didn't have a choice only to come out of regression and finally see multiple choices?
In Lesson 48 we will continue looking at "No Choice."
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment