What Appropriate Anger Can Do for You--Lesson 5

Anger is a feeling; an emotion that is neither positive nor negative although most clinicians, therapists, and authors have labeled it as the latter. Anger is no more destructive than sadness or loneliness. Fear is far more often destructive than anger.
Many of the practicing mental health professionals today believe that anger is simply a cover; like out of control ivy in a well manicured yard. They contend that underneath anger is the real issue that lurks and hurts people: fear.
Essentially said the message is, “You are not angry. You are afraid,” or “Your anger is merely covering up your sadness or disappointment.” This point of view is couched under the heading of “you are not feeling what you say you are feeling, let’s get to the real emotions underneath your anger.”
This traditional approach defines primary emotions as sadness, loneliness, fear, joy, love, etc. Anger, they say, is a secondary emotion.
However, my experience has shown that anger is a primal feeling that anyone with a pulse experiences weekly, if not daily. It is an essential emotion: You can’t and shouldn’t avoid anger.

Rosa Parks’ anger in 1955 is what contributed to her and a whole race of people from being stuck at the back of the bus. Anger is what got our country out of Vietnam.
Anger can move a person out of abusive relationships. If you stay in a stuck place for too long without expressing anger, then you’ll feel sadness. While sadness and anger are two primary emotions that go hand in hand they are not the same feeling and cannot therefore be used interchangeably. The women’s movement was fueled by an anger that was overdue. The outcome forever changed the world we live for the better. Can you imagine someone saying this to Gloria Steinem or Rosa Parks or the Vietnam vets for that matter: “You’re not really angry, you’re just scared.”?

Question: Were you able sometime in life to use appropriate anger to get you out of a stuck job, relationship, marriage, town?

In Lesson 6 We will explore what I have termed, "soft rage." You will be suprised.


For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.