Another way to think about emotional regression is illustrated best by the words many of us have said and heard—“I lost it!” or “I lost my temper.”
Jamie said to me in a session, “Yesterday my husband Todd and I were having this very frank, honest, even refreshing conversation and I don’t know what he said but I lost it. I started screaming at him all of a sudden and couldn’t stop myself. He finally stormed out of the house and didn’t come back for hours. What is that about? That wasn’t my first temper tantrum either.”
“I found marijuana in my son’s chest of drawers,” said Thomas. “And I don’t know what happened but I lost it. When he came home from school, I yelled at him for two solid hours. I grilled him the way my father did when I was his age. We haven’t spoken two words since. Here’s the weird thing, I smoked grass at his age and swore if I ever caught my children doing it I’d approach it maturely, sanely and rationally. I was screaming my head off at him.”
What do mature adults lose at these critical moments? Lots of things, including logic, reason, rationality, maturity and the ability to choose their words carefully and considerately. They lose their perspective, balance, and most of all, their ability to stay in the pre-frontal portion of their neo-cortex or new brain.
Question: When was the last time your or someone you love or work with "Lost It?"
In Lesson 27 we will explore "Your Brain" and "Your Brain On Rage".
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
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