The Distancer is the most prevalent style. The Distancer has one foot in and one foot out of every conflict, confrontation and argument. They use one of the worst four letter words in relationships; one that communicates nothing: F-I-N-E.
Cherie says she hears this word from her husband all the time before he walks out the door. The Distancer also uses the word “whatever” quite a bit. Both words basically say, “I’m out of here and I’m not going to tell you where I’m going, when I’ll be back and you can do whatever you want and I’ll say its fine, but really it isn’t fine at all.”
If one wants to be a good distancer they can just put these two words together, “Fine! Whatever!”
The Distancer is emotionally unavailable, shut down and numb. He or she is “here” only in body, but absent in every other sense.
Question: Does "The Distancer" remind you of anyone you know?
In Lesson 20 you will discover the differences between the "enrager" and the "outrager."
For more information go to johnleebooks.com or read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
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