ENRAGED OR OUTRAGED?
I have tried to make a distinction between what we normally think of and label as rage—hitting, slapping, pinching, pushing or road rage, by calling the above “soft rage”. I’m sure by now you see truthfully there is no such thing. All rage hurts everyone concerned. Most people tend more toward being enraged or outraged. Oddly enough, en-ragers tend to partner or marry out-ragers. Out-ragers try to get the en-rager to ratchet up their behaviors and en-ragers try (sometimes for a lifetime) to tone it down. As one person noted at a seminar, “We call this marriage.”
The Differences Between the Two:
En-ragers tend to hold everything in sometimes for days or decades. They bottle their emotions up and try to put a lid on every feeling that is uncomfortable. They tend to stew, seethe, and get stressed out. En-ragers often employ shame, criticism and can be very harsh judges of others. They hold in anger that is usually turned inward and then project it on to others. En-ragers internalize their fears which turn into rage.
Question: Do you know anyone who is "enraged" a lot of the time?
In tomorrow's Lesson 21 you will see the actions and behaviors of the "outrager".
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
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