CRITICIZING
Classic criticizing statements:
• “I’m just telling you for your own good…”
• “I say this because I love you…”
• “With all due respect…”
• “No disrespect intended…”
• “I hope you won’t take offense, but…”
The above statements are warning shots fired over the bow to let the listener know that what’s coming next isn’t going to feel good at best and ruin your day or perhaps the entire decade.
Men and women have been using criticism to control, manipulate, coerce, get even or just plain attack since the first Homo Erectus uttered the words, “You’re not really going Tyrannosaurus Rex hunting dressed like that, are you?”
We’ve all been criticized so many times without soliciting it that it may be difficult for many of us to see it as an action or behavior that qualifies as rage. And yet I’ve had dozens of men, women, adolescents, and employees in my office saying they have had it with the critic in the family or workplace that can never be satisfied and finds something wrong in everything they say or do. I’m talking about unsolicited critiques and comments that many, even thick-skinned people are left feeling like a knife has sliced through their spirit.
The wife who says to her husband, “Do you like this dress?” is one thing—the husband who says, “I hate that dress you’re wearing,” has probably been gunny-sacking anger about something and has now crossed the line into rage.
Question: Has anyone ever said to you or have you said to someone, "All you do is criticize?"
In Lesson 10 "Preaching and Teaching" will be shown as possible raging techniques.
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
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