A close cousin to judging is being analyzed by someone other than a therapist who is being paid for their services can be very annoying.
Picture this: The impudent husband looks at his wife with a cold, clinical stare. She feels the heat seeking missile of his gaze into her psyche and finally she says, “Are you angry with me?”
The husband strokes his wannabe Freudian chin, “Angry? No, I’m not angry. You know I haven’t had a real feeling since the Nixon administration. No, what I’m trying to do is figure you out, make some sense of your behavior and come to an understanding of why you think and behave the way you do. After meeting your mother and father I know where some of your behavior is coming from…”
“What were you thinking?” The irate father says to the son who put a dent in the SUV. “What is wrong with you?” “Let’s sit down and start from the beginning so we can see how you came to be so…”
These analytical phrases imply that the speaker is the “doctor” and the listener is the “patient.”
Question: Have you ever played Lay Psychologist with friends or family?
In Lesson 15 I will provide a list of other questionable techniques some people use when trying to express anger.
For more information go to johnleebooks.com or read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
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