"Child Time" Part 2 Sign of Regression and Rage--Lesson 45

For the son or daughter who hears, “Wait until your father gets home,” time stands still. In the giddy fifteen year old waiting for her first date to show up, time is stuck in molasses. As mentioned earlier the parent waiting for their son or daughter to come home, time is an enemy. The wife waiting for the husband to call from his hotel feels like time actually wounds her heart and soul because she relives the time her first husband cheated on her.

When we regress time also contracts. If you reading this are newly in love or remember being newly in love you may recall that time collapsed in on itself. The brand new lovers have “fallen” in love. We don’t say they have “progressed” or moved “forward” in love. No, we fall right back to our childhoods. We leave adult time and descend into that oceanic oneness we experienced in the womb, or at our mother’s breast. When we fall we begin conversations with our loved one at 8 p.m. only to come out of the ecstatic trance at 2 a.m. with one of us saying something like, “Can you believe what time it is? We have been talking for six hours. Where did the time go?”

Same couple ten years later…The wife says to the husband, “Honey, we need to talk.” The husband looks like a surprised or angry deer caught in the headlights, responds spontaneously, “For how long?” “Oh just thirty minutes or so,” she says. “Thirty minutes,” the husband equates to dog years, regresses and says something like, “And I suppose you want me to listen the whole time.”

Question: When do you fall back into "child time"?

In Lesson 46 we will explore how "disproportional reactions" are almost always a sign regression is happening and rage may be coming.

For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.

"Child Time" as a Sign of Regression and Rage--Lesson 44

A four year old says to their mom or dad, “When are we going to go see grandma?” The look of excitement and expectation turns into desperation when the parent replies, “In two weeks.” Two weeks is an eternity for children. You may recall how summers lasted forever and Christmas never came.

That four year old, forty years later goes to the doctor on Monday because of some condition that produces concern and anxiety. The doctor speeds in, checks them over and on his way out says, “We’ll have these tests back on Friday and try not to worry.” Monday to Friday feels how long? Like an eternity. It is almost exactly the same feeling that children have because the adult has regressed and is back in Child Time, which is full of worse case stories.

When men and women regress, time gets weird. Regression leads to time being compressed or expanded where time is more dreamlike. Minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days, days seem like months and months, well months can be decades. But the good news is once you know this to be a sign of regression you catch it and bring time back to its normal feel and thus reduce anxiety and fear.

Question: Do you remember the last time an hour seemed like a day, a day seemed like a week and you were anxious, small, little, angry, maybe even raging?

In Lesson 45 we will continue to explore the phenomenon of "child time".
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.