Why Brain Chemistry Makes Us Feel Choicless--Lesson 49

Choice is a function of the neo-cortex or the new brain. Scientists tell us this portion of the human brain is roughly ten thousand years old. This new brain is capable of rational and logical thought processes. According to Antonio Damasio, In The Feeling What Happens, the neo-cortex permits, “fine perceptions, language, and high reason. It allows us to ‘think’ about our choices and reason out our options.” The neo-cortex and the developed pre-frontal lobes are basically inactive during the regressed state.

During regression, it is our reptilian or “old brain” that is in charge. This section of the human brain is what we share with reptiles; it has been keeping humans safe for over one hundred thousand years. This brain is only capable of performing the most basic functions; eating, excreting, and procreating and is limited when there is a threat to our physical or emotional survival—real or imagined. It tells us to do one of three things—fight, flight, and freeze.

Question: When was the last time you felt the only choices you had were to fight with words, run away by shutting down, or freezing until the situation was over?

In Lesson 50 we will continue to look at choicelessness and brain chemistry.
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.

No Choice As A Sign of Regression and Rage Part 2--Lesson 48

Arnold said,” I have too many bills to pay and a kid in college and another about to graduate from high school and go to college. I can’t quit my job. I just have to grit my teeth, suck it up and stay at a job that really sucks.

When working with a person who really feels and thinks that they don’t have a choice I first have to help them see their regression, deal with the triggers that are sending them back in time, explore the emotional memory and hopefully facilitate a discharge and release the pent up, stored energy whether it is rag or sadness.
Once this is accomplished then I can help them see the choices that have been right in front of them all along. Now a friend can offer suggestions, their pastor can recommend books to read. But if their well-intentional help is offered before the person comes out of their regression it all falls on deaf ears.

I’m sure you’ve had these frustrating conversations with friends who tell you about a crisis or a problem they are having and you pull out your best advice, lovingly give them options and choices and they respond with, “You just don’t understand,” “No I can’t do that,” “I wish it was that easy.”

Question: What areas of life do you often feel, "I don't have a choice?"

In Lesson 49 we will explore the brain chemistry behind feeling like you don't have a choice.
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.

No Choices--Sign of Regression,rage and anger--Lesson 47

When I asked Charlotte why she didn’t leave her verbally abusive husband, she said, “Because I don’t have that choice.” When I asked Arnold why he doesn’t quit the job that offered no chance for advancement or increase in pay, he too replied, “I didn’t have a choice.”

When an adult feels like they have no choice they get angry or enraged and are usually in a regressed state. It often takes someone else (who is not regressed) to offer them choices, point out options because the regressed person can’t hear them, see them or act on them.

When working with a person who really feels and thinks that they don’t have a choice I first have to help them see their regression, deal with the triggers that are sending them back in time, explore the emotional memory and hopefully facilitate a discharge and release the pent up, stored energy whether it is rag or sadness.

Question: Can you remember times where at the time you felt like you didn't have a choice only to come out of regression and finally see multiple choices?

In Lesson 48 we will continue looking at "No Choice."
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.