The Interrogator, Intimidator and Poor Me

"What time did I tell you to be home?" "How many more times do we have to discuss this?" "Who were you with?" "How much did you have to drink?" The interrogator fires off a rapid series of questions. They have a way to make you talk.

The Intimidator gets big and loud and fills up the whole room so everyone in it will get small and quiet or they fill up the office or room with silence so thick you can cut it with a knife.

The Poor Me says, "It is not my fault I am late for the meeting. I got a phone call just as I was getting ready to leave and they just kept talking and talking. Don't blame me, blame them."

All three are forms that rage takes. Which one do you gravitate to?

There are 51 other lessons on this blog. I hope they help.

Intimidation as a Form of Soft Rage--Lesson 17

The Intimidator is the second style of soft rage. This is the man or woman who rages by getting big and loud and filling up the entire room with their gigantic roar. This is done to demean and demoralize those around them and make them feel small and silent.

The Intimidator curses loudly and throws objects off tables or desks. They often employ preaching, sarcasm and put-downs.

Sometimes intimidators fill up the room with silence so thick you can cut it with a knife. Everyone around them is whispering and walking on eggshells hoping the intimidator won’t “snap”. Intimidators believe might makes right and they’re always going to have the last word.

"Question: Do you or someone you know tend to employ this style?

In Lesson 18 we will look at the style almost no one wants to admit but many, including myself, will use when nothing else works.

For more information go to johnleebooks.com or read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.