Outragers tend to be active in their persecution of others who don’t feel, think, believe or behave like them. Outragers curse loudly; throw things, scream and never lower their voice. It’s hard to say which of the two are more dangerous to relationships.
Some of you may think that outrage can be a positive thing. For example, if someone is falsely accused of a crime, the public becomes “outraged” until the media gets involved forcing the city for a new trial where he is found innocent and eventually set free. Sounds great, except for one thing: that’s not destructive outrage because no one gets hurt., that’s anger expressed appropriately.
Whether you find yourself or someone you know in either or both categories take heart. You are about to be introduced to a tool that can help and even heal while turning both the enrager and outrager into a person who talks, acts, thinks and feels like what indigenous cultures refer to as “human beings.”
Question: Do you see yourself or someone you know leaning more towards "outraging" or "enraging".
In Lesson 22 you will be given "the best kept secret in psychology" to help turn soft rage into appropriate anger.
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
Showing posts with label outraged. Show all posts
Showing posts with label outraged. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Enraged or Outraged? Lesson 20
ENRAGED OR OUTRAGED?
I have tried to make a distinction between what we normally think of and label as rage—hitting, slapping, pinching, pushing or road rage, by calling the above “soft rage”. I’m sure by now you see truthfully there is no such thing. All rage hurts everyone concerned. Most people tend more toward being enraged or outraged. Oddly enough, en-ragers tend to partner or marry out-ragers. Out-ragers try to get the en-rager to ratchet up their behaviors and en-ragers try (sometimes for a lifetime) to tone it down. As one person noted at a seminar, “We call this marriage.”
The Differences Between the Two:
En-ragers tend to hold everything in sometimes for days or decades. They bottle their emotions up and try to put a lid on every feeling that is uncomfortable. They tend to stew, seethe, and get stressed out. En-ragers often employ shame, criticism and can be very harsh judges of others. They hold in anger that is usually turned inward and then project it on to others. En-ragers internalize their fears which turn into rage.
Question: Do you know anyone who is "enraged" a lot of the time?
In tomorrow's Lesson 21 you will see the actions and behaviors of the "outrager".
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
I have tried to make a distinction between what we normally think of and label as rage—hitting, slapping, pinching, pushing or road rage, by calling the above “soft rage”. I’m sure by now you see truthfully there is no such thing. All rage hurts everyone concerned. Most people tend more toward being enraged or outraged. Oddly enough, en-ragers tend to partner or marry out-ragers. Out-ragers try to get the en-rager to ratchet up their behaviors and en-ragers try (sometimes for a lifetime) to tone it down. As one person noted at a seminar, “We call this marriage.”
The Differences Between the Two:
En-ragers tend to hold everything in sometimes for days or decades. They bottle their emotions up and try to put a lid on every feeling that is uncomfortable. They tend to stew, seethe, and get stressed out. En-ragers often employ shame, criticism and can be very harsh judges of others. They hold in anger that is usually turned inward and then project it on to others. En-ragers internalize their fears which turn into rage.
Question: Do you know anyone who is "enraged" a lot of the time?
In tomorrow's Lesson 21 you will see the actions and behaviors of the "outrager".
For more information go to johnleebooks.com and read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.
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