Judge and Jury and Anger and Rage

Most people spend a lot of time judging and finding lots of people guilty. When many think they are telling someone how they feel they are really judging the other person's behavior, character, personality, decisions and actions. "You shouldn't have said what you said, did what you did,and was wrong for doing so." In other words I'm going to tell you about you and then when I get finished doing so you are going to judge how I said what I said, should have said something different or better and then when you're finished it is my turn again. At the end of this torturous trial we are all found guilty and you don't know any more about me and I don't know any more about you.

Have you been judge and jury recently while you were just "telling" someone how you feel?

There are 51 more lessons on anger and anger management in this blog. Hope it helps.

Being Judge and Jury As Soft Rage--Lesson 12

When someone is angry but doesn’t know how to express it appropriately they very often fall back on a tactic that was probably used on them since childhood and they have become masters of in adulthood—judging. This form of raging requires that the individual have an imaginary robe and a gavel handy at all times. They judge your behavior, the way you speak, stand, sit, eat, work, play, make love, buy groceries, make repairs, raise your children, tie your shoes, etc.

Judges also get to play jury to decide guilt or innocence regarding the offenses they see you committing—“I sentence you to the silent treatment for forty-eight hours,” or “Off to rehab for twenty-eight days,” or “No sex for you for a month.”

When couples or colleagues fight it goes something like this:
“Here’s what you did wrong. Here’s what you should have done, thought, said, said this way instead of the way you said…”

Question: Have you ever played judge and jury with someone you love or work with?

In Lesson 13 some other forms of soft rage will be presented.

For more information go to johnleebooks.com or read The Anger Solution: The Proven Method for Attaining Calm and Developing Healthy, Long-Lasting Relationships, Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, The Missing Peace--all available on Amazon.com.